September 15, 2007 —
35,000 feet above the Atlantic Ocean

A friend of mine recently said at the conclusion of his vacation, "The transition back to reality is SWIFT and BRUTAL." How true it is!

I've succeeded in completely decompressing these past 7 weeks ‘off contract’ in many needed and glorious ways, and I'm pretty certain that I did it right, because I sense that it is, indeed, time to get back to work, and it feels splendid. While fully recognizing that I’ve been more than a little bit spoiled, I must say that it feels wonderful to have completely removed myself from business decisions, learning new roles, e-mails, early morning telephone calls, and beaded gowns, and fully immersed myself into things very distant from my every-day reality such as khaki pants, leopard tracking, new recipes, no computer, and only having to make decisions such as which lens to use, ‘white or red’, and whether to have more pistachio ice cream or not. (I usually did.)

A great friend has been urging me for years to plan for REAL time off, to take a great vacation, and to truly let down. I finally listened to the broken record, and now I understand why he was so insistent: I feel refreshed in my mind and spirit, inspired by the beauty that surrounds us, awestruck with what the world has to offer, and even more appreciative of how I get to spend my working days. And perhaps most importantly, I had a bit of time to digest all that has happened to me personally over the past year, to gain some closure, and to decide that I am ready to move on. I had no idea how much I would need it.

Sadly, I’m not a gifted enough writer to fully convey the wonders that I was fortunate enough to witness in South Africa. I will humbly say that marvelous surprises are found around every corner of that blossoming country; pulling from the fresh political and social aspects of their new country, to the truly breathtaking scenery that elicits deep reverence, the free and welcoming spirit of the beautiful people, and capped off by the astounding privilege of being so close to majestic animals in their natural habitat. As many people warned, it was the trip of a lifetime and I dream of returning soon and often.

This was followed by 3 weeks at home, providing me the chance to sort through all the rubble that had descended in the chaos of the past year. Any singer will tell you that organization is the key to sanity in this business, and while I love BEING organized, I don’t always stay on top of the actual PROCESS of staying organized; if you’re home for 36 hours, you don’t want to waste a single, precious minute on trying to locate that obscure single copy of music of the perfect encore that you’ve been asked to repeat at a last minute concert next week! So there was a LOT of filing to be done, a lot of closet cleaning, receipts to sift through, and the first chance in a long time to actually sit on MY sofa, in MY loft, with MY family around, drinking out of MY wine glass and watching MY city’s skyline swallow the setting sun. I relished every moment of just being home.

My time also involved selling my Parents’ house of nearly 50 years, with the immense help and dedication of my ‘local’ siblings – the only house any of us knew as our first and true ‘home’. Perhaps the most trying aspect of my career is that I seem to be physically absent from so many big moments in the lives of my family and loved ones, but this is one I didn’t miss, and I will remain deeply grateful that I was able to be there as we closed the door one final time. Again, my writing skills fail me in describing the overwhelming emotion and flood of memories that wash over you in a moment such as that, but we are certainly not the first, nor the last family to endure such a thing, and I find myself growing in appreciation all the time for the legacy of family that my parents passed on to me and my siblings. Interestingly enough, they were not all rosy memories that swept over me, and that surprised me a great deal, because I naively thought that the difficult memories would politely keep their distance out of respect. But they didn’t for me, and I found myself quite relieved that I hadn’t revised history too much, for it was precisely those struggles and painful memories that made it feel complete: I know that through it ALL, we were still standing as a family, and we were still united – united especially through the dark times, and that gave me the power to walk out the door a final time with a smile, because I knew our family wasn’t defined by the 4 walls where we cut our teeth on life, and I knew it didn’t die with the passing of my Parents: their legacy is alive in me and in my brothers and sisters, and their grandchildren, and in how each of us leads our lives. Indeed, our home is alive and well.

So much for my keeping my personal life out of this space! But I suppose if you’ve been following the past few months here, then a bit of closure for you is appropriate as well. At the end of this summer, I do feel ready to head back to work and tackle the exciting season ahead, but as a member of a different family, the “Opera” one, I forge on with a heavy heart, as my colleagues surely do as well, for it seems almost too much to ask of our community to bury another bright, unique and beautiful light. I’ll chose to look at it as another lesson in “we only get so much time here to do what we need/want to do.” In all the press surrounding Pavarotti’s final days, a quote appeared that seared directly into my heart: “If it were all taken away, God and I would finally be equal.” Nothing more need be said about his talent, his humility or his contribution to the world, except to say that he will be deeply missed.

So it’s back to work for me: I’m finishing this entry not from the air, but on heavenly ground in Tuscania, Italy, where I’m working with Alan Curtis on another exciting recording, enjoying that gorgeous olive oil again, and soaking up being in such a beautiful country. My nose is officially to the grindstone, and while the transition may feel swift and brutal, the work certainly isn’t – how wonderful to be getting lost among all these little black notes once again!

P.S. If you feel like taking a peek at some of the shots taken from my summer adventures, you can find them here.